Things I Have Wondered About

1. Why are there Braille letters on the drive-through ATM?

2. Why do they prep the skin with alcohol before they give a lethal injection?

3. Did they give the tiger that bit Roy Horn (Siegfried and Roy) HIV prophylaxis after he bit the magician?

4. When you ask a patient to lie down on their back, why do they always lie on their stomach?

5. Why are all nail salons owned by Vietnamese immigrants?

6. Why is Richard Simmons popular?

7. How did Ray Charles beat his wife when he was blind and she was not?

8. What do dogs dream about?

9. Why don’t television faith healers stop at hospitals on the way to their revivals?

10. Why is a patient’s ability to survive major trauma inversely proportional to their value to society?

11. Why are all doughnut shops owned by Korean immigrants?

12. Why do aliens always abduct and anally-probe illiterate rednecks?

13. How can Scientology be a religion without a deity?

14. Why does a high school dropout working in a Detroit auto factory putting plastic parts together make twice as much as a paramedic?

15. Why is Paris Hilton popular?

16. Why do lesbians always own cats?

17. Why do foreign-educated internists continue cardiac resuscitation attempts until rigor mortis sets in?

18. Who gives a shit about “Celebrity Rehab”?

19. What is the attraction of body piercing?

20. Are there any black Mormons?