Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How To Know You're in the Wrong ER

Top 10 indicators that you have come to the wrong emergency room:

10. Paramedics are either laughing uncontrollably or shaking their head as they walk through the ER doors after dropping off a patient.

9. All of the nursing staff are wearing nursing caps reflective of the nursing school from which they graduated (including the male nurses).

8. Part of the waiting room is cordoned off by crime scene tape.

7. All of the waiting room toilets are filled with weapons-grade feces and have not been cleaned since Richard Nixon was President.

6. The housekeeping staff is selling crack in the waiting room.

5. The ER is equipped with a “take a number” dispenser but the sign that calls your number is out of service.

4. All of the emergency physicians wear turbans and have translators.

3. The nurses have a 10 minute fist fight amongst themselves inside the nursing station.

2. Emergency department techs have to sharpen needles daily for injections.

1. The man sitting next to you is wearing a Revolutionary War uniform and has a musket wound. 

Primum non nocere!

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