Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Microsoft Hell

I was excited. My new version of Photoshop CS4 was delivered by the UPS dude. I opened the package and popped the DVD into my desktop computer. Immediately an error code came up saying that I needed to upgrade Windows Vista with Service Pack 1. So, I ran Windows Update and, as you might think, the Service Pack 1 wouldn't load. I got a plethora of 10 digit error codes that made as much sense to me as the IRS Tax Codes. I was starting to get frustrated.

So, I Googled the error codes on the net and read several geek posts about how to fix the problem. None seemed to agree and I followed their advice to no avail. So, I checked the Microsoft web site. Much to my surprise they had a free Windows Vista Service Pack 1 upgrade assist center. I logged on and eventually somebody with the name "Sirinivasin" came on line and said his name was "Mike." OK. I answered his questions and he remained perplexed. I allowed him to log on to my computer with Microsoft Easy Assist. He checked numerous things on my computer. Finally, he downloaded a Freeware product and did something. Then, he rebooted the computer and the connection was lost. When my computer came back up, everything was in turmoil. I was now officially angry.

The phone rang and it was some fellow named "Bob" with an Indian accent so thick I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Ultimately, he spoke slowly and I caught what he was saying. We tried a few things and he finally said somebody would call back tomorrow. I hear the chatter of an Indian (dot, not feather) call center in the back ground. He suggested I reinstall Windows Vista. Thus, I did that all night long.

At 8:00 AM a fellow named "Mike" called back. He made some suggestions. Download this, try that, reboot this, uninstall that. Nothing worked. He would give me a task (which would take an hour or so) and then call back. Once I completed all the requested tasks, he quit calling. I was now entering a degree of "pissed off" heretofore unseen. I went for a walk.

Next, I logged back in to the Microsoft Vista Service Pack 1 help center. This time a helpful fellow named Poovasin answered. He said his name was "Jay." He had me run through the same procedures I did before--all to no avail. Then, as I do, I became a smart ass. I told him I was frustrated and he said, "I am extremely sorry you feel that way." I answered, "It is not your fault. It's Bill Gate's fault." He answered that he would have their best tech call tomorrow. I asked, "Should I buy a Mac?" He answered, "Wait until our best tech calls. He can fix the problem." These guys are actually nice and put up with as much shit as a female Asian blackjack dealer in Las Vegas.

I actually have a Mac Book Pro laptop. I use it some. But, I have alot of money invested in high-end Windows programs (e.g., Photoshop CS, Adobe Illustrator, Quark Express). I have VM Fusion on the Mac (which allows yu to also run Windows Vista and Windows programs). I just have not made the decision to go exclusively with Mac. I won't by a damn Dell. Then, it hit me. I am in Microsoft hell! It is like the roach hotel--you can check in, but you will never check out. This sucks and so does Microsoft.

P.S. This post was written flawlessly on a Mac Book Pro. My Sony Windows desktop is repeatedly processing an endless loop of attempting to install Window's Vista Service Pack 1.

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